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The American Dream will cost you, minimum, ten million US dollars. Those Americans who cannot raise the necessary funds to achieve the American Dream (minimum ten million US dollars), are barred from achieving the United States American Dream by the United States American Dream Corps™.

The minimal package of an American Dream includes a luxurious penthouse apartment or single family dwelling, home security system, lifetime costs for pets, decor, one classic car, several collections of material objects, and food, medical costs and other items that otherwise drive most citizens mad with worry and despair.

An advanced package exists that includes everything the minimal package does, but also comes with a wider array of electronics, two or more classic cars, a pool for your penthouse or single family dwelling, more material goods and a fair amount of investment capital or real estate holdings.

Higher packages including Gold includes everything the other packages do, with a home being upgraded to mansion, plus memberships to elite clubs for the wealthy, famous, and influential, an entire garage of classic cars, an obscene amount of material goods, cocaine and/or sex workers, and literal get-out-of-jail free cards. The amount of investment capital available in this American Dream package is considerable, and will result in more companies than one could reasonably keep track of.

A Platinum package allows customers to achieve an American Dream so astounding that they flirt with death, and/or result in the deaths of countless others. Multiple mansions, islands and politicians are yours. You will be beyond all prosecution for your crimes. No amount of drugs can stop you. You become invincible. Not even American law or justice can bind you. You reshape the world with a phone call and line-item expenditure.

Omnis enim sunt populus servorum, et patebit contemptui, quia appetitus sint automata simplex. Tu Constrata et singulares cum antiquis currus immensæ multitudinis. Lex enim ultra tibi. Tu potestate. Ave Moloch

There is even one level above this inconceivable Dream of American Greatness that will never be known to the majority, a fountain of Godhead that is deprived to all but those who have the most money to purchase this package, highly exclusive even among those with immeasurable wealth and power. This is the same as all the previous packages combined, but it also comes with free lifetime health insurance.

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