They are the ultimate conspirators, shadow government, and puppet Masters. They are usually petty, jealous assholes who control every aspect of your lives like manipulative boyfriends or micromanaging bosses. They have every known power, and it is not known if they can be permanently killed.
Sometimes they are banished to other dimensions, sometimes they are tricked by mortals, other times they do battle with one another, sometimes a younger God even swallowing and defeating an older one to consume its power.
They do not really have genders, but still insist on fucking each other and any other person or thing that moveth or doesn't moveth. Seriously. They will fuck bulls, horses, chairs, comatose patients, angels, demons, priests, virgins, anything.
The one thing Gods hate above all else is when people worship other Gods besides them. This is because deep down, despite being Creators of worlds, weather phenomenon, physical laws or the mortal themselves, and despite having ultimate unbridled omnipotence and omniscience, they are secure little crybabies.
It may have something to do with the Power of Belief. It has been theorized that Gods are sustained by the faith of their followers, and once abandoned, are left to the dusty detritus bins of history, adrift in Cosmic Debris. This would explain why they put more importance in the Laws dictating reverence and sacrifice to the Gods, than to the Laws telling mortals to actually be nice to one another. It could also be that they are just vainglorious, egotistical bags of dicks.
Gods have been known to start wars between mortals for no God-damned reason other than their own twisted amusement, take human form to rape humans, take animal forms to animal-rape humans, tell two different groups that they are both 'Chosen' and then watch them fight it out, flood entire planets, set cities on fire, and arbitrarily punish followers, demand human sacrifices, and belittle you in front of the other Gods.
Even though these Gods all definitely exist, it is better to not belief in them. Just-- don't-- don't give them the satisfaction.
All items (46)
- The Gospels According to Nate
- The Lord of Chaos
- The Mighty Favog