10 Reasons Why Time Travel is No Good

"OUCH, MY EARS!" - Duckman 5 seconds from now
Ever wonder why Bill Gates Clinton never got reelected impeached for a third term during his second term as ruler in the European Conclave Oval Office or Stephen Spielberg George Lucas directed obliterated the awesome awful Star Wars Prequel Trilogy and Sequel Trilogy sold the rights to Disney?
What is Time-Fucker?[]
As described above, the art of Time-Fuckery is the act of traveling through time to alter the events of the Uno-alpha-main timeline to achieve a goal or if one is just fucking around. Do not be confused: this is done through 100% effective methods, which ensure the main timeline is altered - not the way events occur and branch off in the story of Future Tunks.
OR IS IT TO MAINTAIN THE CURRENT TIMELINE?[]
You didn't think about THAT, did you?
Revengerists from the future (well, the future equivalent of Revengerists who undertake revengering) have come to uncover evidence and determine that some important historical events would not have happened without the unsolicited help of future interventionists. Thus, the issue of Time-Fuckery in the future has become a hotly debated issue, as those who wish to preserve the timeline grapple with a variety of implications from group bias, temporal bias, quantum state bias, race, class, self-preservation, family medical history, and romantic embarrassment.
ALSO WHO GETS TO DECIDE WHAT THE MAIN TIMELINE IS EVEN???[]
racist.
YOU ARE THE RACIST. I get to decide because I'M the fucking ADMINISTRATOR
EXAMPLES[]
- the timeline where everyone is gay and being straight is religiously frowned upon.
- the timeline where whites were enslaved and marginalized in society for no good reason.
- the timeline where Hitler won (YEAH, SOME RACIST PROBABLY WANTS THAT TO HAPPEN!)
- the timeline where the Civil War was won by the South (fucking RACISTSBLRGSKDK!!)
- the timeline where women rule and there is no war or crime or poverty or inequality. It's Awesome.
- the timeline where humans never evolved and Dinosaurs still run shitz.
- the timeline where Bob Ross went mad and enslaves half the population forcing them to be happy
- the timeline where the trees killed all humans. Fucking trees.
- the timeline where it is socially unacceptable to list things.
- the timeline where videogames were never invented.
- the timeline where everyone is an old lady.
- the timeline where everyone is evil and have goatees.
- the timeline where everyone wears hats.
- the timeline where Ash didn't save the world from deadites and we all died or got turned into zombies.
- the timeline where that dude from Sliders died, it was really sad, man, he was Sallah and Gimli and the Professor and now he's dead and he's not even short, man, he's way too tall to play a dwarf, they used some sort of camera tricks it's crazy, bro, that Peter Jackson is such a good director, man, have you seen 'Meet the Feebles'? Changed my life. Changed my life.
Daylight Savings Time (DST)[]

Daylight Savings Time, or DST for short, is the most common form of time fuckery. Twice a year time goes out drinking and by 2 A.M. an hour either appears or disappears completely. This bit of timefuckery is what the Conspiracy uses to keep the norms "normal" and un-awesome, the poor pitiful cis-bastards.
This time-travel shit gives me a headache[]
Misadventure in Time (Animated Short)
Tell me about it.
There are vast accounts of time-fuckery within The Revengerists Omniverse; too many to list. Reasons for time-fuckery usually include some sort of villain meddling or theThe Writers wanted to retcon something or just wanting to change things up. Use of time-fuckery has caused many mental pains within the fandom's collective brain and as a result has either resulted in the mass evacuation of the reader-base or some sort of national controversy. In fact many of these time-fucking events have been covered up by the American Censorship Association so that the general populace can live their lives without panic or fear. [citation redacted needed 节录]
One of the villains most likely to perform time-fucker is Dr Evilus, his most notable example was his meddling with the national holiday Labor Day. Labor Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the first Monday in September, that celebrates the economic and social contributions of workers. a time of strife for the American people who were uplifted by the great hero Labour who lived as America's King Emperor died a tragic death.
The Twins Paradox Primer (Rotating TIME!)
Because people cannot travel faster than the speed of light, some fools thought that it would be a good idea to time travel by going through a wormhole ... but this left them on the other side of the galaxy with all their known friends and relatives dead for thousands of years. Smooth move, Einstein.
All items (6)