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WOMEN are always AWESOMEs, if those of you who are fellas don't think so then you must have had some kind of bad experience that was probably all your fault because you are clearly NOT awesome. If a woman appears to NOT be Awesome one of a very few factors may be extenuating.

  1. she is hiding the fact that she is Awesome, awesomely, which makers her more of an awesome due to the revengerist way of not bragging and making a big deal of it, or because they are Evil Awesome and just biding their time.
  2. an evil Awesome how does magics on her and she is cursed (or thinks she is so it reduces her state of Awesome) or minimized by patriarchal infrastructure in some metaphysical form or another. “After generations of social, economic, and cultural discrimination, it is understandable that many women see themselves in this light” (Schultz 171).
  3. b**** be crazy she has some serious or temporary mental infirmity that prevents her from realizing and thus utilising her full awesome potential.
  4. she is stressed out.
  5. she is currently harvesting Fire Cramps, which can be understanably distracting, but which actually usually makes her more awesome (whether or not she is an evil awesome).
  6. coma.
  7. death.


You might will not notice a woman's awesome super-powers at first unless she a) likes you and decides to impress you or b) has gotten to know you and is comfortable around you. Women evolved awesomeness as an entire gender of the human species, in response to the total assholery of the opposing gender, and the occasional flarehups of natch awesome were not enough. One scientist theorized that men did not need to evolve awesome over the entire group as women did, because their awesome is stronger and better at everything on its own. This scientist, of course, was a man, and has been dealt with.

In the bible, Eve was way more awesome than her idiotic, bumbling, blindly following male partner. Although many claimed Eve was tricked by a snake, even being able to talk to snakes in the first place is awesome, and in actuality she was framed and entrapped by a male authority and then marginalized. It is because they pose such a threat with their powers that men have had to work so hard for millennia to keep them down, claiming that their very awesome traits and abilities are weak or foolish. Men are inherently fearful of a matriarchy because a) they are guilty of instituting a strict patriarchy for thousands of years and b) deep down, they know a matriarchy would so work better. Most women are not interested in such things, content to live equally and keep their true Awesomeness to themselves, not bragging about everything like the weaker sex.

Men have subjugated women and perpetuated horrible lies about them throughout history because of their deep-seated womb envy.

Women like to laugh.

Many women love sex. they love it more than men do. they love it with their lady-bits. but unfortunately, Mr. Bad Society Man (the worst supervillain whose power it is to be ever where and no where) told all the women for thousands of years that they were dirty sluts and should be ashamed of themselves. Additionally, if a woman gets pregnant, her investment takes a suddenly riotous series of events as she learns what it means to be an adult in a world she was not ready for, whereas a man can just refuse to pay child support until they put him in jail. Also, STDs. Most if not all women have had at least one sexual experience ranging from pathetic and bad to awful and traumatizing. So it is understandable that they should be conflicted about sex. Women have prolonged periods of horniness, whereas guys have a bunch of constant blinking ones. Women are superior because they can enjoy sex longer and better than any other sex-enjoying-type-person. This is not all bad, since unlike men, women enjoy arousal itself almost as much as orgasms.

Many women can make babies. Some women feel an unnatural urge to make babies, as if it were in their genetic code somewhere. Without ladies, nobody else would be anywhere at all, and that's sort of a big deal. Men cannot have babies, and so instead seek to perpetuate a lasting cosmological impression on reality by spending insane amounts of money, rising to power, fighting wars, building monuments, writing and publising their own fake history, and having lots of different sex partners. They say behind every great man is a great woman, because otherwise our species would have died out ages ago, and this is especially true when brilliant evil awesome women lead, inspire, or control powerful men. In fact, corporations with women CEOs outperform those led by men.

It is because of this sweet mystery of life that some has suggested that women are like 'Awesomeness machines' in which awesomeness is constantly produced and put out into the environment as in some resonant energy feedback field. Women love a little mystery in life.

Nelliebly wendy2.jpg

Women do not like assholes, players, pickup artists, psychological mind games, bullshit drama (unless it is titilating to watch), most if not all forms of violence, creepers, scrubs, and rapists.

Women can dress however they'd like, thank you very much, and don't need your permission to either cover themselves up in heavy robes or layers of sweaters, or strut their stuff in the skimpiest of costumes. They defy your primitive attempts at pejoratives and monosyllabic epithets such as 'prude' or 'slut' or 'harlot.' If they want to cover their head in a hijab, then they have the freedom to do so. If they want to dress business casual, then in accordance with the dress code of their workplace, then so be it. Women do not require the consulation of others to look Awesome, and in fact are capable of doing battle unscathed in anything from blazers and pantssuits to slankets and pajamas, bikinis and cutoffs to full heavy dragonscale armor with +23 magicka use. They can deflect arrows even if they only have tiny coin-sized medallions covering their nipples.


Women DO like a variety of diverse things and interests that elude many men (and androgynous aliens), who mistakenly think they are lame but are in actuality AWESOME:

respect, dancing, complex storytelling, a sense of humor, tea, culture, knitting, yoga, guilty pleasures, soothing afternoons, different positions, something warm, rapport, travel, nature, puzzles, good design and æsthetics, people with goals and ambition, communication, nice smells, sex, relaxation, play, cute animals, good sportmanship, nice adorable old ladies, art, talking, listening, understanding ideas and feelings, civil rights, maturity, nurturing, hot sex, mysteries, being paid attention to, secrets, the human condition, human vulnerabilities, foreign language, men who know what the fuck they are doing, spontaneity, genuine confidence, comfort food, music, nice colors, education, helpfulness, strength of body, strength of character, diverse experiences, personal grooming, baked goods, gossip and skilled conversation, to name a few.

This varies between woman-to-woman, of course, as they are each special and unique individuals, but overall they are classy, deep, and capable beings with warm energy and brilliant minds. This is why women are better conversationalists, emotional support, information gatherers, spies, lie detectors, social chameleons, educators, passionate leaders, powerful philosophers, inquisitive scienticians, hopeful romantics, agent provocateurs, as well as unconventional and successful problem solvers.


Martha Washington, America's mommy

Women are often falsely accused of being illogical, but in fact their logic is just a different, superior form so highly-evolved that others cannot understand them, but involves not simple mechanical processes of probem-solving but also emotional, psychological, and contextual considerations. They have superior ways of creating social networks of moral and emotional support, with the various men and women in their lives filling roles as confidantes, protectors, providers of health and safety, fun activity partners, sexy funtime, servitude, advice-givers, storytellers, conversationalists, comforters, educators, news-bringers, and philosophers.

Though some women are evil awesomes and slink around sexily doing their nefarious deeds, the vast majority of women are good, and have the special abilities of female mutualism and sisterhood to accomplish and learn more as a group of like-minded and empathic powerful individuals.

Since all women are Awesome, it seems redundant to list some Awesome women.

Here is a partial list of some Awesome women:

  • Rosa Parks
  • Ruth Bader Ginsberg
  • Joan of Arc
  • Lise Meitner
  • Guinevere
  • Alice Walker
  • Emma Goldman
  • Emma Watson
  • Wonder Woman
  • Catwoman
  • Anne Sexton
  • Jin Xing
  • Wife of Bath
  • Bride of Frankestein
  • Barbara Walters
  • Toni Morrison
  • Aretha Franklin
  • Bonnie Parker
  • Ramona Flowers
  • Pam Poovey
  • Lana Kane
  • Malory Archer
  • Sarah Emma Edmonds
  • Marina Abramović
  • Barbara Gordon
  • Diane Arbus
  • Tegan and Sara
  • Zawditu
  • Carrie
  • Lois Lane
  • Audrey Lorde
  • Android 18
  • Queen Amyitis
  • Laura Bridgman
  • Madame Lalaurie
  • Turanga Leela
  • Janis Joplin
  • Lucy Van Peldt
  • Nefertiti
  • Hannah Arendt
  • Catherine the Great
  • Josephine Baker
  • Queen Lili'uokalani
  • Ma Barker
  • Irene Adler
  • Annie Leibovitz
  • Lizzie Borden
  • Lisbeth Salander
  • Lucille Bluth
  • Lindsay Bluth-Funke
  • Maeby Funke
  • Ethel Rosenberg
  • Tsarina Elizabeth I
  • Hester Prynne
  • Æon
  • Josephine Bonaparte
  • Olivia Pope
  • Jerrie Mock
  • Miss Piggy
  • Anais Nin
  • the Wicked Witch of the West
  • Dorothea Lange
  • Bridget Riley
  • Becky Sharp
  • Marylin Monroe
  • Ayn Rand
  • Kim Possible
  • Jody Williams
  • Lyra Silvertongue
  • Edith Wharton
  • Little Orphan Annie
  • Julia Child
  • Victoria Woodhull
  • Anne Frank
  • Snow White
  • Titica
  • Mary Poppins
  • Doris Lessig
  • Zenobia
  • Barbara Stanwyck
  • Miss Havisham
  • Agrippina the Younger
  • Shirley Temple
  • Valentina Tereshkova
  • Lucille Ball
  • Alice
  • Hypatia of Alexandria
  • Empress Theodora
  • Katniss Everdeen
  • Queen of Sheba
  • Lavern Cox
  • Hanna Heller
  • Ellen Ripley
  • Charlotte the spider
  • Foxy Brown
  • Nadine Gordimer
  • Margaret Bourke-White
  • the Trung sisters
  • Scarlett O'Hara
  • Hit Girl
  • Nellie Bly
  • Elena Cornaro Piscopia
  • Jane Austen
  • Emily Dickinson
  • Audrey 2
  • Chloris Leachman
  • the Dragon Lady
  • Madame X
  • Marge Gunderson
  • Marie Antoinette
  • Thelma and Louise
  • Sophie Calle
  • Jessica Abel
  • Jessica Alba
  • Sissieretta Jones
  • Queen Kriemhilde
  • Joan Crawford
  • Anansi the spider
  • Mathilda
  • Trinity
  • Hua Mulan
  • Cleopatra
  • Rosario Dawson
  • Supergirl
  • Jackie Brown
  • Mata Hari
  • Mary Tyler Moore
  • Lara Croft
  • Clarice Starling
  • Wangari Maathai
  • Mary Whiton Calkins
  • Gertrude Stein
  • Fay Wray
  • Pam Grier
  • Marie Curie
  • Elizabeth Cannon 
  • Dusanka Filipovic 
  • Charlotte Fischer 
  • Ursula Franklin 
  • Charlotte Keen
  • Geraldine Kenney-Wallace 
  • Holly Golightly
  • Parinya Charoenphol
  • Bessie Smith
  • Nikita
  • Bette Davis
  • Jennifer L. Eberhardt
  • Amy Goodman
  • Lotte Reiniger
  • Dame Judi Dench
  • Ingrid Berman
  • Madeleine Chéruit
  • Margaret Fuller
  • Adele
  • Sally Ride
  • Madame Bovary
  • Paulina Helm-Hernandez
  • Caddy Adzuba
  • Anne Heche
  • Meryt-Neith
  • Rosalind Franklin
  • Marian Anderson
  • Warrior Queen Zenobia
  • Princess Leia Organa
  • Whistler's Mother
  • Lee Miller
  • Samus Aran
  • Artemis
  • Elizabeth Barrett Browning
  • Georgia O'Keeffe
  • Malala Yousafzai
  • Hellen Keller
  • Margaret Sanger
  • Elizabeth Cady Stanton
  • Lena Horne
  • Mary Shelley
  • Daenerys Targaryen
  • Amelie
  • Fu Hao
  • Khutulun
  • Jill Valentine
  • Angela Merkel
  • Tawakel Karman
  • Ellen Johnson Sirleaf
  • Leymah Gbowee
  • Bessie Coleman
  • Betty White
  • Jodi Foster
  • Marie LaVeau
  • Nikki Giovanni
  • Hermione Granger
  • Henrietta Lacks
  • Tamar of Georgia
  • Dana Sculley
  • Queen Victoria
  • Sara Teasdale
  • Mianne Bagger
  • Sabiha Gökçen
  • Chell
  • Judith
  • Billie Holiday
  • Molly Pitcher
  • Laura Bridgman
  • Grace Hopper
  • Belle Starr
  • Kathryn Bigelow
  • Empress Lei-tzu
  • Oprah
  • Boudicca
  • Max Guevara
  • Grandma Moses
  • Joan Mitchell
  • Hangaku Gozen
  • Ororo Monroe
  • Trieu Thi Trinh
  • Kitty Wells
  • Zora Neale Hurston
  • Hippolyta
  • Scout
  • Harley Quinn
  • Poison Ivy
  • Eva Peron
  • Ishtar
  • Adele Bloch-Bauer
  • Xena: Warrior Princess
  • Beyoncé
  • Indira Ghandi
  • Vishpala
  • Clara Barton
  • Sappho
  • Sasha Grey
  • Katharine Hepburn
  • Margery Kempe
  • Susan B. Anthony
  • Zoë Washburne
  • River Tam
  • Inara Serra
  • Kaylee Frye
  • Maya Angelou
  • Sojourner Truth
  • Cartimandua
  • Anastasia
  • Vera Wang
  • Dooa Eladl
  • Michelle Kwan
  • Sailor Moon
  • Janet Reno
  • Cinderella
  • Sofia Coppola
  • Medea
  • Princess Mononoke
  • Arya Stark
  • Jackie Kennedy
  • Gudit
  • Hedy Lamarr
  • Mary Roach
  • Sylvia Plachy
  • Livia Drusilla
  • Tina Fey
  • Blenda
  • Condoleeza Rice
  • Kate Austen
  • Pia Zadora
  • Zelda Filtzgerald
  • Princess Zelda
  • Freyja
  • Jennifer Lawrence
  • Janis Martin
  • Hush Puppy
  • Sarah Blake
  • Rosie the Riveter
  • Dorothy Parker
  • Nora Ephron
  • Glenda the Good Witch of the North
  • Margaret Atwood
  • Rose Tyler
  • Agnes Martin
  • Emily Post
  • Miuccia Prada
  • Pearl Bailey
  • Sydney Bristow
  • Elizabeth Blackwell
  • Dr. Rachel Levine
  • Empress Dowager Cixi
  • Emily Howard Stowe
  • Jane Addams
  • Hyvon Ngetich
  • Beatrice Wood
  • Martha Stewart
  • Kathy Bates
  • Jay DeFeo
  • Anna Karenina
  • Cara Page
  • Roberta Lynn Bondar
  • Veena Rawat
  • Indira V. Samarasekera
  • Frances Wagner
  • Eleanor Roosevelt
  • Alice Roosevelt
  • Mina Harker
  • Itzpapalotl
  • Louisa May Alcott
  • Sinead O'Connor
  • Harriet Tubman
  • Lieutenant Uhura
  • Annette Hanshaw
  • María Pita
  • Esther
  • Madame de Pompadour
  • Lady Godiva
  • Pocahontas
  • Betsy Ross
  • Mary Queen of Scots
  • Shirley Jackson
  • Running Eagle
  • Harriet Beecher Stowe
  • Empress Wu
  • Isadora Duncan
  • Marilou Retton
  • Dolley Madison
  • Lucrezia Borgia
  • Laurie Anderson
  • Sally Hemings
  • Jamie Sommers
  • Mother Jones
  • Edith Head
  • Betty Crocker
  • Juana "La Loca" De Castille
  • Frida Kahlo
  • Melinda Gates
  • Gertrude Bell
  • Barbarella
  • Vampirella
  • Eudora Welty
  • Mary Cassatt
  • Afrika Queen Lockett
  • Coco Chanel
  • Beatrix Kiddo
  • Bülent Ersoy
  • Durga
  • Julia Margaret Cameron
  • Margaret Thatcher
  • Michelle Obama
  • the Brontë sisters
  • Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup
  • Princess Diana
  • Sacagawea
  • Calamity Jane
  • Elsa Schiaparelli
  • Ruth Buzzy
  • Anne Bradstreet
  • Joan Baez
  • Mara Jade
  • Athena
  • the Notorious Bettie Page
  • Queen Isabella I of Spain
  • Imogen Cunningham
  • Golda Meir
  • Harriet the Spy
  • Hillary Clinton
  • Veronica Sawyer
  • Jane Eyre
  • Virginia Woolf
  • Buffy Summers
  • Helen of Troy
  • She-Ra
  • Sarah Vaughan
  • George Eliot
  • Empress Jingu
  • Madonna
  • Veronica Mars
  • Moll Flanders
  • Helen Fairchild
  • Ellen Swallow Richards
  • Rachel Carson
  • Faye Valentine
  • Okichi
  • Francesca Woodman
  • Elen Luyddog
  • Madame Tussaud
  • Sita
  • Madame Blavatsky
  • Bar Rafaeli
  • Isis
  • Semiramis
  • Audrey Niffenegger
  • Selma Lagerlöf
  • Catherine of Aragon
  • Ahhotep I
  • Princess Peach
  • Emilia Earhart
  • Freya Stark
  • Annie Hall
  • Little Debbie
  • Lady MacBeth
  • Elektra Natchios
  • Éowyn
  • Tokyo Rose
  • Cher
  • Brunhilda
  • Yoko Ono
  • Michionne
  • Lolita
  • Helen Hunt Jackson
  • Hatshapsut
  • Jessica Rabbit
  • Mona Lisa
  • Artemisia
  • Ida B. Wells
  • Carly Fiorina
  • Artemisia
  • Grace Helbig
  • Martha Nussbaum
  • Ella Fitzgerald
  • Anne of Green Gables
  • Elisabeth Bathory
  • Queen Elizabeth I
  • Angela Davis
  • Imogen Cunningham
  • Florence Nightingale
  • Julia Child
  • Annie Oakley
  • Queen Cordelia
  • Mary Breckinridge
  • Alice Waters
  • Baba Yaga
  • Joan Rivers
  • Leeloo
  • Janet Mock
  • Nurse Ratched
  • Ma Rainey
  • Mary Todd Lincoln
  • Sylvia Plath
  • Lakshmi Bai
  • Cathleen Synge Morawetz
  • Julie Payette
  • Alice Payne
  • Mother Teresa
  • Georgina Beyer
  • Maryam Mirzakhan
  • Jane Goodall
  • Sei Shonagon
  • Haruko Haruhara
  • Park Cannon

Though most of the aforementioned female heroes are graceful and elegant, there are countless ways to 'be a lady', so terms such as 'lady-like' are absurd. There is no correct or incorrect way to engage in 'ladying'. Just ask a transsexual! But as women learned in the late 20th-early 21st Centuries, being prim, proper and demure is way overrated.

Women will marry when they want. Anything that exists on a scale of 'don't you think it's about time you found a man' to forced or arranged marriage is UTTER BULLSHIT.

To wit:

"My dear Sir

Before answering your letter, I might have spent a long time in consideration of its subject; but as from the first moment of its reception and perusal I determined on which course to pursue, it seemed to me that delay was wholly unnecessary.

You are aware that I have many reasons to feel gratified to your family, that I have peculiar reasons for affection towards one at least of your sisters, and also that I highly esteem yourself. Do not therefore accuse me of wrong motives when I say that my answer to your proposal must be a decided negative. In forming this decision — I trust I have listened to the dictates of conscience more than to those [of] inclination; I have no personal repugnance to the idea of a union with you — but I feel convinced that mine is not the sort of disposition calculated to form the happiness of a man like you. It has always been my habit to study the character of those amongst whom I chance to be thrown, and I think I know yours and can imagine what description of woman would suit you for a wife. Her character should not be too marked, ardent and original — her temper should be mild, her piety undoubted, her spirits even and cheerful, and her “personal attractions” sufficient to please your eye and gratify your just pride. As for me, you do not know me, I am not this serious, grave, cool-headed individual you suppose — you would think me romantic and [eccentric -- you would] say I was satirical and [severe]. [However, I scorn] deceit and I will never for the sake of attaining the distinction of matrimony and escaping the stigma of an old maid take a worthy man whom I am conscious I cannot render happy.


Farewell—! I shall always be glad to hear from you as a friend

Believe me
Yours truly
C Brontë"

Now that is classy. Brontë eventually would marry -- a single year before her death. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Indeed, women have had to continue to prove their superior Awesomeness despite institutional roadblocks both intentionally and incidentally to keep them relegated to the poorer and weaker positions in society. Not allowed to vote in America (the bastion of liberty and freedom) until 1920. Women still do not make as much pay, on average, as men. They are charged more for health insurance than men (and not with any consistency or logical reason). They are subjected to daily street harassment. Sexual assault is rampant in most parts of the world. Internet comments for women invariably devolve from disagreement and trolling to overt rape threats. Dubious consent is not only a recurring trope in fiction, but also a pitiful excuse for "character development." And in newspapers, men still receive 63% of bylines and women are honored in a mere 23% of obituaries

Luckily, there are many women and their allies working tirelessly to fight for equality for all, and continue to do so today. Their resilience, persistence, and strength in the face of adversity contribute to their overall bad-assness.

"However visionary this may sound, those who are interested in humankind and wonder what to do with the girls might try it."

~Nellie Bly on gender equality in the workplace

Even lady hurricanes are more bad ass, according to science.


Women are just now in the long arduous march of time beginning to karate chop, uppercut punch, and haddoken their way through the glass ceiling that evil Bad Society Man has kept in place for so long.

Men would understand, appreciate, respect and love women a whole lot more if they simply accepted that women are always right.

The only thing many women lack is a penis, but that's easy enough to find and obtain if needed.

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