The Revengerists Consortium of Stuff Wiki
Advertisement

HE RUNS UP THE FIELD, HE RUNS DOWN THE FIELD, HE RUNS UP AGAIN, THERE ARE GUYS AT THE TOP OF THE FIELD, SO HE CLIMBES DOWN, HE SEES ANOTHER FIELD MAN, HE RUNS AND RUNS AND CLIMBS UNTIL HE IS AT THE TOP OF THE FIELD, THERE IS A MONKEY THERE, HE RUNS AWAY AGAIN AND OPENS THE POWER UP TREASURE CHEST, HE IS INVINCIBLE FOR FORTY SECONDS, HE TAKES OUT THE TWO GUYS ALONG THE EDGES OF THE FIELD, HE SEES ANOTHER FIELD GUY NAMED FIELDMAN ON THE FIELD IN THE FIELD OF HIS VISION, HE PUNCHES THE FIELD GUY, HE PUNCHES THE FIELD MAN, HE PUNCHES FIELDMAN, HE EVEN PUNCHES THE FIELD, HE PEES ON THE FIELD, THE FIELD IS ALL COVERED IN FIELD GUYS AND FIELD MEN NOW, THEY ALL HAVE ONE FIELD MOMMY AND IT IS THE FIELD, THEIR FIELD GOD, HE GRABS THE FIELD AND RUNS THE LENGTH OF THE FIELD TO THE END OF THE FIELD TOWARDS THE FIELD, HE IS ON TOP OF THE FIELD, HE RUNS THIS FIELD, HE CAN FIELD IT NOW, HE IS THE FIELD, THERE IS NO FIELD BUT FIELD, ALL OTHER FIELD MEN ARE BUT FIELD MEN TO HIS FIELD, FIELD, FIELD, FIELD, FIELD, FIELD, CAT, FIELD, FIELD, FIELD, HE'S SOMEHOW UNDER THE FIELD, HE FOUND A TUNNEL THROUGH THE FIELD, HE HAS FLATTENED HIMSELF WITH THE FIELD, THEY ARE ALL STILL LOOKING FOR HIM ON TOP OF AND ALL AROUND THE FIELD, THEY WON'T FIND HIM THERE, HE'S AT THE NINETY, THE EIGHTY, THE SEVENTY, THE SIXTY, THE NINETY AGAIN, HE TELEPORTS TO THE ONE-THOUSAND TWO-HUNDRED AND FORTY-FIRST, NOW HE'S AT THE FORTY, THE THIRTY, HE FORGOT THE FIFTY SO HE GOES BACK AND DOES THAT ONE, THEN THE FORTY AGAIN, AND THE THIRTY AGAIN, BUT IT FELT ALL UNEVEN SO HE STARTS ALL OVER AFTER CIRCLING THE FIELD COUNTER-CLOCKWISE TEN EVEN TIMES, HE JUMPS AHEAD IN TIME, HE'S AT THE TWENTY, THEY'VE FOUND HIM THERE AND TAKE CHASE, NOW HE'S AT THE TEN, THE NINE, THE EIGHT, THE SEVEN AND A HALF, THE SEVEN AND A QUARTER, THE SEVEN AND ONE-FIFTH, HE'S STOPPED! THE FIELD GUYS ARE CATCHING UP, HE'S LAUGHING, THE FIELD GUYS REND THEIR CLOTHES AND GNASH THEIR TEETH, THEY KILL OFF A TENTH OF THEIR OWN GUYS AS RITUAL SACRIFICE, THEY'RE AT THE TEN NOW, THEY HAVE MADE UP THE ONE-HUNDRED THAT THEY WERE BEHIND, BUT NOW HE'S AT THE FIVE, AND THEY MAKE UP THE DISTANCE, BUT NOW HE'S AT THE FOUR, AND THEY MAKE UP THAT DISTANCE BUT IN THE TIME IT TOOK TO DO THAT HE GOT TO THE THREE AND A HALF, AND THEY MAKE ANOTHER MOVE UP THE FIELD BUT HE'S STILL AHEAD, THUS, WHENEVER THE FIELDMEN REACH SOMEWHERE HE HAS BEEN, THEY STILL HAVE FARTHER TO GO, BECAUSE THERE ARE AN INFINITE NUMBER OF POINTS TO BE TRAVERSED IN THE TIME AVAILABLE, AND THE FIELD MEN MUST ALWAYS REACH WHERE HE HAS ALREADY BEEN, THEY CAN NEVER OVERTAKE HIM ON THE FIELD, IT LOOKS HOPELESS, IT IS HOPELESS, THEY HAVE NO HOPE, HE'S AT THE ONE NOW, HE'S WAGGLING HIS BUTT AT THEM IN MOCKERY, HE TEETERS OVER THE FIELD LINE, HE'S ON THE FIELD LINE NOW, HE'S MADE IT! HE SCORES! HE'S DANCING! HIS DANCING IS LIKE THE DANCING OF A THOUSAND YEARS OF DANCES! HE'S GOING TO DISNEY LAND! HE'S ACCEPTING SPONSORSHIP DEALS! HE'S HAVING EPIC POEMS WRITTEN ABOUT HIM! HE'S MURDERING HIS VANQUISHED! HE'S CLAIMING THEIR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS! THE CROWD IS GOING WILD! THEY'RE DRINKING THE BLOOD OF THE WEAK! THEY'RE DRUNK WITH POWER! THEY'RE BURNING DOWN THE FIELD! THE FIELD IS DEMOLISHED! THEY'RE BUILDING A CVS PHARMACY THERE NOW! THEY'RE REMEMBERING THE TIME THIS USED TO BE A FIELD AND THEY WITNESSED THE GREATEST VICTORY EVER TO TAKE PLACE ON A FIELD!!!!!

Advertisement