The Dude (not to be confused with The (human) Dude), birth name "Chico", was an Awesome heroic cat and sometimes ally of the Revengerists team (when it suited his feline ways). He was born a level 8 with a power rating over 9,000 with little to no training, making him a Natch Awesome, and superior even for felines. In his youth, not only had he conquered world-threatening alien overlords and neighborhood dog foes, but ate probably more chicken wings than any human you've ever seen. It was quite a sight, and kids would come from all around to admire his feats, lustrous coat and lackadaisical attitude.
He often worked in the shadows, bringing many a notorious blackguard to justice as they felt the painful sting of his razor claw attack, his swipe and grab, and the kicky feet motion of doom once they were trapped in his deadly embrace. He would open up their bellies and allow their juicy guts to smatter along dirty alleyways, and that's just if they were lucky. If they were unlucky, the Dude would swallow them whole, and the memories of their existence would be wiped clean from the universe. The Dude just did not give a single fuck.
Early Years[edit | edit source]
With his ragtag team of misfit animals, the Dude rustled up trouble and good times on the mean streets he called home for years. He was a road manager for several heavy metal bands, and even experimented with drugs until knocking up some lady cat with a litter of genetically Awesome kittens (still out there somewhere) and having to skip town. Eventually his rambling ways would find him in glorious Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, which is known as a natural wellspring of supervillains for him to fight. In this short tenure, he and his chums defeated the nefarious Luke Ravenstahl, Crazy Pants, and even prevented several rapes by Ben Roethlisberger.
He saved babies from fires on the reg, but also ate some of the babies, so it's a wash.
Sadly, those days of hanging around trash cans and dumpster-brand dumpsters with his other cat buddies singing songs and fighting crime could not last forever, and young Chico was eventually taken in by the ASPCA. Though many stray cats fear and recoil at the thought, The Dude accepted this turn of events with aplomb, or more accurately apathy. He knew he was above all of this shit. He languished there for some time before being discovered by a bored Jim Vivas, Viking God and his ilk after a series of especially gruesome battles. Though initially looking for some mighty steed to ride into war, this embattled hero saw the mighty glint of power in the Dude's eyes, and was impressed by both his girth and his total lack of fucks given.
Seriously, not a single fuck his entire life. This is what truly made him the Most Powerful Character in the Revengerists Universe.
Adoption[edit | edit source]
Jim Vivas and friends adopted the Dude outright, because he knows that even older pets need good, warm, loving homes, not just the cute little baby ones. It would soon prove to be the best decision of his life, as the Dude not only proved a brilliant tactician and brave warrior, but saved Jim's life on a near-nightly basis.
Thus, THE DUDE was given his titles, true name and birthright, as well as a haunted house to explore and claim with his corpulence. With plenty of things to rub against, carpets to pluck at with his toes, and six square meals a day, the Dude sat, lay, plopped and rolled around on whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He kept his housemates safe by killing and eating deadly spiders, ghosts and demonic wraiths at night.
If peeps were rollin' blunts, he didn't even care, man. He'd smoke that shit. Dude, he got so high, but you couldn't even tell. Because he was always that laid back, all the time. Yeah. He went where the action was. And then just laid down next to it and took a nap.
Powers and Personality[edit | edit source]
- unstoppable force (similar to the Juggernaut)
- impregnable body (similar to the Hulk)
- could not be moved unless he so desired (similar to the Blob)
- Lazer vision (like all cats)
- Speed, despite his size, he could book it when he wanted to
- inter-dimensional travel
- Power absorption (or mass absorption through a technique known as 'blorphing')
- claws, but usually only if you got too close, as he wasn't coming to you. Ain't nobody got time for that shit!
- Powerful bite to subdue his prey
- video game master, especially Star Wars Battlefront
- giving you a look that tells you that he knows what a complete idiot you are (compared to him)
But don't think that the Dude was arrogant. Far from it. Even with all his unearthly power, he would chill with just about anybody. Men, women, latino, black, jew, gay, big dogs, annoying little kittens, old ladies, he didn't care who you were, as long as you were cool.
The Dude would not stand for injustice, but then again, he didn't really stand up all that much at all. He fought many times with various groups, notably befriending not only the Metal Gods, but also Revengerists members Commodore Bob, Breshvic, Der Kirche, South Side Santa and especially Tenacious Lee, Bob Coffee and several Interns, whom he treated compassionately as cohorts and brothers-in-arms. He had even helped accompany them into other dimensions and realms. Though he destroyed many villains, he never garnered his own rogue's gallery, because a.) he just didn't give a shit or hold grudges, b.) he never left his enemies alive, and c.) who could possibly hate that lovable widdle whiskered face!?
Evolutions[edit | edit source]
His power only grew as he evolved into higher forms, eventually becoming a blobthing like no other. For unlike other blobthings, the Dude was not a shitty minion that you encountered in droves. He was a BOSS who lounged with tropical rum drinks and sexy cat-ladies. Sometimes he would just look at his own paw for hours, blinking really slowly and contentedly. This meant that he was planning some new adventure, from which he would emerge triumphant. It didn't matter if it took him hundreds of years, he would take his time and accomplish it, or just say fuck it and lay back down because the ground is much cooler, anyway.
Final Form[edit | edit source]
After many years of granting wishes and giving good people cuddles and big smiles (and bad people bruises and stitches), the Dude finally evolved to his third and highest evolutionary form, literally bursting forth from our pale physical reality as an ethereal bag of raw spiritual power, his incorporeal energies becoming part of the very cosmos he had dedicated his feline lives protecting against evil.
Though he will be missed by his compatriots and fellow Awesomes, they know that they may visit with him when their minds are quiet, when the stars are still, when thought and dream and lightwaves flow over them with the whisper of existence itself. That is the will of the Dude, always within and without. A watchful and omnipotent guardian for all the immortal aeons.