Food

need... more... hearts

Food is a form of power up that gives the consumer of it more energy (and the power of the vanquished) to fulfill their tasks and important duties. Food itself can be one of those tasks or important duties, and has its own branches of science, art, alchemy, fights, and fetish dedicated to it.

Food is a highly valuable commodity and people desperate for either some food or any particular food are not to be trifled with. Unless you're giving them trifle. That would make sense. As it is sought after by all, food can be very expensive, though even inexpensive food can often be delicious. Do not let 'food snobs' tell you what food to eat. Just proudly slap your slimy gut up on the table and push ho-ho after wretched ho-ho down your haughty facehole.

People who enjoy food are called 'Foodies.' People who do not enjoy food do not exist. Some even hoarde food in disgusting repositories known as "pan-trees". A robust 'food culture' exists which is why there are so many still life paintings of fruit, and also why both 'Weird Al' Yankovic and Frank Zappa wrote so many songs about food. Other great musical acts include Cream, Bread, The California Raisins, the Meat Puppets, and The A&W Band. Also... the... uh... Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Many people even like to take pictures of their food because it is more interesting than any deeds or accomplishments in their sad lives. Still, food is pretty Awesome, so...

Foods are often organized into a complicated series of charts where they are broken into arbitrary groups:

Red Food

Red foods are the sexiest and most potent color of foods. They are especially spicy or sweet or savory or succulent, and are a special danger to Super-Tasters.

Purple Food

There are no blue foods. It sickens me to think upon it.

Purple foods are strange but pleasant.

Yellow Food

Yellow and orange foods are the best, but this is unfairly weighted due to the sampling of Cheese Foods disproportionately in this category.

Green Food

why?

Breakfast Food

"The Most Powerful Meal of the Day of the Revengerists Omniverse", it is for Champions like Ron Swanson and Walt, Jr. And not for tame-ass losers who do it wrong like Europe. Pft. Two cantaloupe slices and coffee. Go suck an egg!

Superfoods

These foods have been rigorously tested by Scientists, and probably give you superpowers maybe.

Psychoactive Foods

Lurpak_Cook's_Range_-_Adventure_Awaits — Lurpak Cook's Range - Adventure Awaits

Food for Thought

One can not only consume books for their power, but also gain special abilities and perks from the knowledge contained therein. Many books even proffer the very meta-instructions for the best preparation of their own use. These are known as 'Cook Books' because this is what you are supposed to do with them:

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, 1963
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, 1951
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, 1865
On the Road by Jack Kerouac, 1957
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, 1925
A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole, 1980
Moby-Dick by Herman Melville, 1851
The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka, 1915
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson, 1971
Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens, 1837
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, 1960
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson, 2005
Swann's Way by Marcel Proust, 1913

Not unlike parasites, such thought-foods known as books will infest your every neural synapse and haunt your every memory, filling your senses long after with an even greater appetite for more; an unquenchable hunger tormenting you for the rest of your days; a mind-prison from which there is no escape.

Monster Food

Monster Food is not food for monsters. You're thinking of humans. Monster Food is food that you think is food but actually turns out to be monsters. Food monsters can be tricky that way. Also don't call them food monsters, those are just regular monsters who are food-themed, like Cookie Monster.

Not Food

Though many with Stomach Powers have been known to literally devour anything, there are some things which are confidently placed in the Category of Not Food. Do not attempt to eat any of the following items unless you are a professional like Dr Tasty or Galackus. If you find yourself eating this literal garbage, then you may suffer from a condition known as Pica.