Football is a game where rapists are hired to rape the other team of rapists. The object of the game of football is to rape.

Young rapists interested in rape are scouted early from their high school football teams where they are known to get away with rape as young as fifteen or sixteen. They are coached on how to lie to police, newspapers, and blame the rape victim. They are insulated in a culture that hero worships their athletic prowess, so that their rapes are ignored or forgiven. They are even exalted for their masculinity and rape prowess. This allows the rapist to arrogantly and confidently know that they will never be caught or prosecuted. While playing college football, they can rape as many as thirty people a month, more during the off-season. Intramural rapes are organized to reach a range within a specific geographic area.

Professional rapists play in the NFL and get away with rape professionally. If they are very good at raping, they will be given a special ring that tells the world what great rapists they are.

On the very rare occasions that these football rapists are found guilty, their punishments are very light, and the media continues to ignore, blame, or slut-shame the victim while lamenting the promising careers the rapists had. This is foolish, as there are no rules against rapists in the NFL, only openly gay players.

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