G-D may or may not exist, which means if [unknown pronoun/s] does exist, [unknown pronoun/s] is even more awesome
[unknown pronoun/s]'s definitely a Douchey Awesome, having created [unknown pronoun/s] own enemy and allowing Evil to exist just so [unknown pronoun/s] can look good by comparison. [unknown pronoun/s] foreknowledge of all events prevents true free will from existing, and [unknown pronoun/s] is the original Patriarchal[unknown gender ruling system/s] oppression.
God is a total dick:
- God is a looksist, and hates uggos, (Leviticus 21:17-24)
- God commits genocide and has many more committed for [unknown pronoun/s] sick favor
- God turns yall into salt (Genesis 19:26)
- God tells dudes to kill their kids, totally mindfucking them to test them (Genesis 22:1-12)
- God doesn't want you to test or question [unknown pronoun/s]
- God wants bears to kill babies (4 Kings 2:23-24)
- God hates shrimp
- God hates tattoos
- God hates gays
- God hates women
- God hates cotton-polyester blends
- God sometimes doesn't want [unknown pronoun/s] image portrayed
- G-d sometimes doesn't even want you spelling [unknown pronoun/s] name fully
- God has conditioned you to call [unknown pronoun/s] "Him" even though God has no gender
- God reiterates this by referring to [unknown pronoun/s] as "He am what he yam"
- God makes you capitalize the "H" in "Him", but then says vanity is a sin
- God endorses slavery
- God has no problem killing innocent Egyptian babies (Numbers 16:41-49)
- But God doesn't actually have a stated opinion on abortion
- But God does condone drone-bombing of Muslim babies
- God will kill you for masturbating (Genesis 38:1-10)
- God murders people over a bet (Judges 14:1-19)
- God tortures [unknown pronoun/s] followers over a dare from the Devil (The entire Book of Job) that doesn't even involve a fiddle
- God assaults strangers, and cheats when fighting (Genesis 32: 22-31)
- God hates complainers, and sets them on fire (Numbers 16:1-49)
Much more of God's hypocrisy and lunacy is spelled out in The Gospels According to Nate, the new and improved books of the Bible.
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Basically, if [unknown pronoun/s] does exist, you're totally fucked because there's no way you can live up to [unknown pronoun/s] ridiculously high standards. And seriously how can you guess which of the many different Religions, sects, cults and versions of the same God there are? If you pick Christian, what if the Muslims turn out to be right? If you pick Islam, what if the Jews turn out to be right? And if you pick Judaism, it's probably Christianity and then you're definitely screwed! And which Christianity? Mormonism? Presbyterians? Southern Baptists? The Westboro Baptist Church? The Mantis God? Catholicism? Maybe they're all wrong and it's the Bahai people who are onto something. But choose wisely, for while dat true religion will bring you everlasting life, the false one will make you burn in fucking hell for all eternity.
Illusion -short film-
BASICS OF FAITH[]
You are to take it on faith that:
- God exists, because God supposedly said so (to someone at some point thousands of years ago)
- God loves you, despite all of the;
- general disease, natural disasters, famine, poverty, suffering and misery in the world
- specific directed actions by God against humanity as a whole or individuals, deserving or otherwise
- general disdain and misanthropy
- demonstrated homicidal tendencies
- God created humans, and all their flaws, and the problem of free will, all sin and disease and evil and even the Devil and therefore vampires by extension, but also rainbows and ponies
- God is good, according to God and followers, ignoring all evidence to the contrary (otherwise known as all evidence)
- God had created a lake of fire full of demons to torture sinners for all of eternity, called hell
- God created a system in which anyone who sinned would spend all of eternity in hell
- God has determined that you, by default as a human, have sinned and are a sinner and therefore deserve to spend an eternity in hell
- God has foreknowledge of all sin and allows it to happen, easily able to construct a universe in which nobody happens to sin
- God created a "son", an aberration of human flesh, to walk the Earth in order to solve the problem of sin that God had created
- God required that this "son" that was both God and a human son of God, die in a bloody painful sacrifice
- God is able to literally transmogrify (in this case; transubstantiate) mundane wine and nearly-bread wafers into actual copies of the flesh and blood of the son of God that God required to be sacrificed bloodily and painfully in order for God to decide to forgive sin, a problem God created
- God required the son of God to become a zombie who then rose to heaven, you have to take some people's word about that
- God could have forgiven sin just on a whim, but did this instead
- God doesn't want you to 'pretend' to eat the blood and flesh, you are to consider it fully real as it transforms inside your digestive system, like a cannibal eating magically resurrected zombie parts
- God will punish you for eternity after you die if you sin, but now amended to only if you do not worship God and God's son enough
- God will let any old horrible sinner into heaven, no matter what evil things they did, so long as they repent and worship God and God's son
- God will reward all those who worship and follow God, but only after your death (you cannot and should not expect rewards in your lifetime)
As you can see, worship in a God such as this amounts to being in a DEATH CULT.
Luckilily there are millions of Gods who have been worshipped at some point and all claimed to exist, so choosing the correct one who will reward you in this life or for eternity in the next life or lives, is as easy as guessing which one out of millions of Gods is the true one, having no real concrete physical evidence for any of them. Good luck!
PRAYER[]
YOU COULD BE PRAYING TO THE WRONG ONE RIGHT NOW! FUCK! You could even be praying wrong! Like, get on your knees and pray five times! No wait! Spin around counter-clockwise and juggle snakes! That's not belittling a religion by making a silly statement, some people actually pray that way!
And what if there isn't just one God? What if the Hindus have it right and you're not praying to enough Gods? Or what if you pray to multiple Gods and the ONE TRUE GOD gets pissed off about it because of petty jealousy (one consistent trait across most Gods)? What if you are monotheistic but then it turns out that the multiple Gods theory is true and they not only are pissed at you out of petty jealousies but now decide to gang up on you. You're doomed.
Maybe the Ancient Hittites had it right... and they're all dead with nobody worshipping their God at all anymore. FUCK.
You don't want a God mad at you. They could turn into a bull and fuck you, and claim to have done it before.
When you stop to think about it in the scope of human history... there were religious versions of God that lasted waaaaaay longer than anything we have going today, and many of them disappeared. What would make today's trends any different, other than your bias towards them because it's contemporary to you. You self-centered shit.
You could just wager that since the punishment for not believing in God is worse than merely being wrong about the alternative, then you might as well believe. But even if you pick the right God, perhaps vindictive little bitch that [unknown pronoun/s] is, [unknown pronoun/s] won't take kindly to you believing in [unknown pronoun/s] merely to save your own ass as a sort of cynical token of ass-coverage.
But even if God is totally cool with you covering your bases by reading the King James Bible, the Torah, the Talmud, and the Koran... what if when you reach those pearly gates, an unforgiving Cthulhu eats and annihilates your soul with not even a formality of final judgement? What if Anubis cuts your fucking heart out and feeds it to a crocodile? What if you just get reincarnated... as somebody who then goes on to pick the wrong God?
What if you're born as somebody who never gets access to information about the right God, or born long before or long after the fact? What if you're physically incapable of accepting the right God? What if the right God never comes along? What if [unknown pronoun/s] does, but [unknown pronoun/s]'s just not that into you?
What if you repent on your deathbed, but then you have one last sinful thought due to the random firings of neurons in your brain before you die? That would suck, right? I mean, we all have those thoughts that just "pop" right into our heads without our control. And what if your last thought, (moments after confessing to a priest and accepting Christ as your one true Savior) was how you'd like to violate your high school sweetheart with a banjo and some WD40? You'd be fucked! And since God knows it's going to happen, it's essentially entrapment. Just like when [unknown pronoun/s] knew that Adam and Eve would create original sin in the first place, and then proceeded to make them do so. And then had people torture the shit out of [unknown pronoun/s] only begotten son because of it, years later. And then had more people torture the shit out of the Jews over that for millennia. Because they're God's "Chosen" people. Man, God is such a dick!
Mull that one over. God tells these Hebrews for THOUSANDS of years that they should follow [unknown pronoun/s] and they're [unknown pronoun/s] Chosen people and [unknown pronoun/s]'s got their backs, and specifically to WATCH OUT FOR FALSE PROPHETS. So when they see somebody that they think is a false Prophet, who is convicted by their version of due process and arrested by the Romans, they do what God essentially told them to do and, in point of fact, needed them to do to get business done. And they knew not what they did! And so it only makes perfect sense that they would be flayed, enslaved, beaten, set on fire, gassed, stereotyped, lynched, exploded, shot and raped for thousands of years after.
And then God sends another Prophet down to teach people about peace and inspire a cultural renaissance in the Middle East. But [unknown pronoun/s] rigs it so that only half of the Abrahamic people believe this particular Prophet, but wrote the prophecies on both sides so that they'd have to kill each other over them, because as with everything else God demands, beliefs are mutually exclusive and highly proprietary.
Oh but wait. Everybody can't be right about God. That's just silly. If that were the case, then why would the Israelites have even rebelled against the Egyptians in the first place, since their multiple Gods could have ganged up on just ONE God? And even though Yaweh clearly kicked their asses, what about later when the Norse Gods show up? You're really going to pit locusts against lightning? And even if your God can't beat up my God, you still have to justify the primacy of your God by denying the existence of all the other proposed Gods. That means you're an unbeliever to over 28,000,000 Gods (over the course of human history) at least. Which means that atheists and monotheists only differ by 0.000036% in their beliefs.
And if God doesn't exist, then this whole thought experiment is an utter waste of time. I mean... El Elyon?