Great martian war

The Great Martian War, or the War of the Worlds, was a series of failed invasion attempts by gross martian beings on Earth soil. Every few decades the idiotic space invaders land, blow up a lot of buildings with heat rays, suck up humans like liquid through straws, but are inevitably done in by their short-sighted lack of anti-bacterial technology and poor immune systems. Seriously, you'd think that beings who invented a form of space travel to bring them 33.9 million miles and develop weapons capable of routinely smashing the best terrestrial Earth defenses would at least have some hazmat suits, or soap, or disinfectant wipes. Why do they even want our crappy planet, anyway, if just being here kills them. I mean, I could understand like the first time, maybe even the second if they thought it was a seasonal thing, but every damn invasion ends the same. Go conquer Venus or something, assholes.


You do not remember the many invasions because every time they are covered up by the Shadow Governments of the New World Order and portrayed as pop cultural fiction or 'mass hysteria' or 'hoaxes'. History books were even changed by scratching the "of the" out and transposing "War" and "World" to depict an entirely different revisionist history in which Germans, not Martians, are the cruel homicidal maniacs. Amateur radio nobody Orson Wells was even offered a lucrative film contract as a way to silence his knowledge of these events and to propagate the idea that it was a harmless Halloween prank, despite his having no real talents and all of his films being total commercial and critical flops. But the fact of the matter is, millions of people died during that invasion in New Jersey, and nobody even remembers because it was New Jersey. That doesn't sound like a joke to me.

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