Michael Eisner-3

"Kali Ma. Kali Ma."

Michael Dammann "the Damned Man" Eisner is an international super villain, executive billionaire, head of a worldwide terrorist organization, and former Disney CEO.

His plans for world domination have nearly come to fruition on several occasions, the most prominent of which were his attempts via control of the Walt Disney Corporation. These having failed when his evil sociopathic nature were discovered by sorcerers in the Magic Kingdom, he was stripped of his title and all Disney magic, but went on to use his billions to establish an evil secret corporate empire rivaling Disney or even Pixar itself.

His secret lair is believed to be on Mt. Castle Island Fort (Desert Lake Housing), and his fully armed deathnaut/yacht is named 'S.S. Buttercup.' He has a pet mouse that, for licensing reasons, is named 'Jerry.' It's completely different. Using Disney stockholder money siphoned off into a secret account over many years, he has enacted several megalomaniacal plans, including stockpiling the world's LEGO reserves until he holds the majority of them, at which time he will flood the market and wreak chaos on the world economy .


He often attempts to hold the world ransom, sending terrorist tapes of demands to the leaders of free nations every coupla months, much like those at the beginning of your Disney VHS tapes in the 1990's. His alibi is that he was up all night playing RISK and/or talking to his girlfriend about their feelings and the nature of their relationship.

He was a former rival of Revengerist robot Bob Sequious! back during his double-naught secret agent spy days known as "Bob Sequious: Debutante; Action Star; In-Between Jobs."

He has won many awards including the Blofeld for Excellency in Supervillainy three years running in the late 2000's.

Apparently, he also knows how to rip hearts out of chest cavities to sacrifice to his dark gods.


Since Walt Disney's death in 1966, The Walt Disney Company had narrowly survived takeover attempts by


corporate raiders. Its shareholders Sid Bass and Roy E. Disney brought in Eisner and former Warner Brothers chief Frank Wells to replace Ron W. Miller in 1984 and strengthen the company.

During the second half of the 1980s and early 1990s, Disney revitalized. Beginning with The Little Mermaid (1989), its flagship animation studio enjoyed a series of commercial and critical successes. Disney also broadened its adult offerings in film when then Disney Studio Chairman Jeffrey Katzenberg acquired Miramax Films in 1993. Disney became much more hostile, acquiring many other media sources, including ABC and ESPN.

During the early part of the 1990s, Eisner and his partners set their evil plans in motion, "The Disney Domination" which was to feature new death camps around the world, existing park expansions, new indoctrination films, and new media investments. While some of the proposals were completed, most were foiled. Those completed included the Euro Disney Resort (now Disneyland Paris), Disney-MGM Studios (now Disney's Hollywood Studios), Disney's California Adventure Park, Disney-MGM Studios Paris (eventually opened in 2002 as Walt Disney Studios Park), and various film projects including a Who Framed Roger Rabbit? franchise.

Wells died in a mysterious helicopter crash in 1994 (The Lion King, which went on to become the most successful hand-drawn animated picture of all time, was dedicated to his memory). Shortly thereafter, Katzenberg resigned under suspicious circumstances and formed DreamWorks SKG with partners Steven Spielberg and David Geffen because Eisner would not appoint Katzenberg to Wells' now-available post. Instead, Eisner recruited his partner in crime Michael Ovitz, one of the founders of the Creative Artists Agency, to be President, with minimal involvement from Disney's board of directors (which at the time included Oscar-winning actor Sidney Poitier, the CEO of Hilton Hotels Corporation Stephen Bollenbach, former U.S. Senator George Mitchell, Yale dean Robert A. M. Stern, and Eisner's predecessors Raymond Watson and Card Walker). Ovitz lasted only 14 months and left Disney in December 1996 via a "no fault termination" with a severance package of $38 million in cool cash and 3 million stock options worth roughly $100 million at the time of Ovitz's departure. The Ovitz episode engendered a long running derivative suit, which finally concluded in June 2006, almost 10 years later. Lord Chancellor William B. Chandler, III of the Delaware Court of Chancery, despite describing Eisner's behavior as falling "far short of what shareholders expect and demand from those entrusted with a fiduciary position..." found in favor of Eisner and the rest of the Disney board because they had not violated the letter of the law (namely, the duty of care owed by a corporation's officers and board to its shareholders) and because "this fine, fat stack of Benjamins found its way atop my legal briefs."

"Save Disney" campaign and Eisner's ousterEdit

In 2003, Roy E. Disney, the son of Disney co-founder Roy O. Disney and nephew of Walt Disney, resigned from his positions as Disney vice chairman and chairman of Walt Disney Features. His reasons for resigning were micromanagement flops with the ABC television network, mad schemes of world domination via mass hypnosis in the theme park business, the Walt Disney Company turning into a "rapacious, soul-less" company, refusal to establish a clear succession plan, as well as "An Extremely Goofy Movie".

On March 3, 2004, at Disney's annual shareholders' meeting, a surprising and unprecedented 43% of Disney's shareholders, predominantly rallied by former board members Roy Disney and Stanley Gold, withheld their proxies to re-elect Eisner to the board. Disney's board then gave the chairmanship position to Mitchell. However, the board did not immediately remove Eisner as chief executive, preferring to let him stew in his own juices. This would be the undoing for many of them, who later vanished without a trace.

On March 13, 2005, Eisner announced that he would step down as CEO one year before his contract expired. On September 30, Eisner resigned both as an executive and as a member of the board of directors, and, severing all formal ties with the company, he waived his contractual rights to perks such as the use of a corporate jet and an office at the company's Burbank headquarters. Eisner's replacement was his longtime assistant, Igor.

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