Batman is a rich, crazy person who becomes a superhero protector/Caped Crusader/Dark Knight/vigilantes in several dimensions of the Omniverse where his being happened to have evolved, invariably in this way:
- 1 The Bat-Origin (or, How the Batman Began)
- 2 Bat-Powers
- 3 Questionable Bat-Morals and Bat-Mental Stability
- 4 Bat-Family and Bat-Friends
- 5 Bat-Enemies
- 5.1 The Joker
- 5.2 Dr. Hugo Strange
- 5.3 Scarecrow
- 5.4 The Riddler
- 5.5 Two-Face
- 5.6 R'as Al-Ghul
- 5.7 Mad Hatter
- 5.8 Hush
- 5.9 Mr. Freeze
- 5.10 Poison Ivy
- 5.11 The Ventriloquist and Scarface
- 5.12 The Penguin
- 5.13 Bane
- 5.14 Killer Croc
- 5.15 Egg-Head
- 5.16 Lord Death Man
- 5.17 Wesley Willis
- 5.18 Batzarro
- 5.19 King Tut
- 5.20 Santa Claus
- 5.21 The Bookworm
- 6 Alternate Theories
The Bat-Origin (or, How the Batman Began)[edit | edit source]
As a young Bat-child, watched his Bat-parents murdered before his very Bat-eyes. and were walking home from the theater one night with their son all like "doh-de-doh-de-doh, we sure like being alive...", when they were held up at gunpoint by a mugger who demanded the pearl necklace that Martha was wearing. When Dr. Wayne refused to surrender it, both he and Martha were shot dead in the streets. The killer was a criminal known as . Fortunately, physician and social worker was making a house call that night, and arrived to give loving comfort to the traumatized Bruce. He was then raised on the estate, with help from the wise and loyal butler, . Bruce had very few friends during his childhood, and the one he did have would try to torture and murder him as an adult.Bruce Wayne swore a Bat-oath to rid the city of the evil that had taken his parents' lives (which for the record, was not the stubborn materialism that got them killed). He spent his youth traveling the world, training himself to intellectual and physical perfection and learning a variety of crime-fighting skills, including chemistry, criminology, forensics, martial arts, gymnastics, disguise, and escape artistry. He did all this in a remarkably short six years, considering most people require at least a thousand hours of work in any single one of these fields to gain mastery over it.
At age 14, Bruce Wayne began his global sojourn, attending courses at Cambridge, the Sorbonne, and other European universities. However, he never stayed long and would often drop out after one semester. Beyond academia, Wayne successfully acquired various "practical" or "bat"-skills. While abroad, he studied and received training in multiple martial arts under various instructors and in different countries, man-hunting under Frenchman Henri Ducard, stealth and reconnaissance under the Japanese ninja Kirigi and other certified shinobi, hunting under the African Bushman (the Ghost Tribes of the Ten-Eyed Brotherhood, among others), traditional healing disciplines under Nepalese monks and even ventriloquism under skilled practitioners. His knowledge of so many varied bat-disciplines has made Wayne an unconventional and unpredictable individual. At age 20, he attempted to join the FBI, but after learning about its regulations and conduct, Wayne deducted (his taxes, but then later also deduced, because that is what detectives do) that he would never be able to completely oppose crime while working within the legal system. This would be irrational and unreasonable.
So instead he becomes a man dressed like a bat who fights against evil and strikes terror into the hearts of criminals everywhere. Gotham City
Since then the Batman has been one of the most well-known Awesomes rivaling and . This also extends to his and his .
In his secret identity as Bruce Wayne, billionaire industrialist and notorious playboy, he has no superhuman powers, he is one of the world's smartest men and greatest fighters. His physical bat-prowess and technical bat-ingenuity make him an incredibly dangerous bat-opponent. He is also a founding member of the Justice League and the Outsiders. After the adventure of Batman and Robin, Dick Grayson (originally Robin and then later Nightwing) is Wayne's successor and they operate simultaneously as part of Batman Incorporated.
Unlike the mythical Ayn Rand ubermencsh, a flawless billionaire engine of the economy, Bruce Wayne/The Batman actually does save people, instead of chain-smoking and drinking, talking shit on the poor, being a selfish hypocrite, or fooling themselves into thinking they're doing good while actually destroying the system and world that allowed them to get where they are today. The Batman's story is not a justification for neo-conservative 1% elitism. If anything, his vigilantism is a metaphor for more regulation. What other billionaire do you know would spend so much of his sweat, blood, and fortune helping people?
The Batman has saved our planet from numerous horrible alien threats, maniacal doomsday plots, and international corruption, but was unable to convince the U.S. Congress to give aid to his own Gotham City after it suffered a massive Earthquake (common in New Jersey), instead they declared the city and its victims a 'No-Man's Land) and bombed every bridge in and out. Thanks, Bush Administration. The Batman survives death, time travels, and eventually begins an idealogically fanatic corporate battle against all crime, with many other the Batmen and the Batman robots to do his bidding. This will end well.
Bat-Powers[edit | edit source]
Bat-Detective Work[edit | edit source]
The Batman is the world's greatest (living) detective, beating out even the Lt. Columbo and the Kojak . He uses his bat-wits to figure out riddles, deduce clues, and beat people up. He even outsmarted the Riddler by merely hiding in a box! Even super-thinking aliens and robots like Brainiac, whose whole thing is just about being smart, are amazed and put to shame. Nobody can outthink the Batman no matter what, is what I'm trying to get at here.
Bat-Badassery[edit | edit source]
His signature Bat-Badassery and Bat-Style alone often give him the edge in fights with henchmen and punks, as he can dart about them in the darkness being all intimidating and what-not. They get all scared and start shooting at nothing, at which point he drops down behind them and karate chops them asleep or whatever. He can also make people piss their pants with his gravelly voice.
As mentioned above, he is also the best fighter.
Bat-toys[edit | edit source]
The Batman also has all those wonderful toys that are instrumental in defeating foes, including his Bat-arangs, Bat-mobile, Bat-ultility belt, Bat-signal, Bat-grappling gun, Bat-shark repellant, Bat-gas, Bat-gas mask, Bat-cycle, Bat-boat, Bat-copter, Bat-plane, Bat-computer, Bat-cave, Bat-chemistry set, and any other contrived Bat-device he may need in any possible situation he may encounter.
The Batman does not use the Bat Guns, except when he does. It is part of his strict Bat Code.
Questionable Bat-Morals and Bat-Mental Stability[edit | edit source]
There is a moral ambiguity to the Batman's code itself. There may be a hypocrisy in the idea that beating someone within inches of death is acceptable, whereas outright killing them is not. While some have suggested that refusing to kill villains like the Joker, knowing that they will escape and kill again and again, is itself unethical.
Because when you drop somebody off of a building, you're not murdering them per se; gravity is.
It has also been suggested that the Batman himself is the cause of so many criminally insane psychotics running around the city.
- Gotham's new breed of criminals was replacing the traditional gangsters, and the underground was slowly being taken over by costumed freaks with no respect for the old ways. The Batman's presence is arguably the cause of this.
The Batman also has extensive private surveillance over the citizenry of Gotham, and in the future has robots who monitor and police the city for him. Should he ever go further mad than he already has (because his parents are dead), he may decide to punish every single instance of jaywalking, moving violation, or mail fraud with righteous violence.
Any psychiatrist (there aren't many good ones in Gotham) could easily see that Bruce Wayne has had his mind fractured.
Even the Joker has his theory:
- "I've demonstrated there's no difference between me and everyone else! All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed. Why else would you dress up as a flying rat? You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else... Only you won't admit it!"
The Batman has no objection to killing monsters like Xenomorphs, and even keeps Kryptonite handy should Superman threaten the world, so perhaps the lives of aliens are not as valuable in his mind (though the latter was carried out as a precaution at the request of the Man of Steel himself, because they're besties).
It is difficult to say what the Batman's political leaning would be. On the one hand, he's a rich industrialist who is for illegal wiretapping and extreme rendition, so he might be a conservative. On the other hand, he's a science-minded critical-thinker who is against capital punishment, so he sounds like a freaking liberal. He's probably one of the many different types of libertarians out there, which means he can never run for and win a public office.
Bat-Family and Bat-Friends[edit | edit source]
Alfred[edit | edit source]
Sir Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth, Esq. has been the Wayne Family butler all of Bruce's life, and he helped his master establish his superhero career from the beginning. Alfred was hired away from the British Royal Family by Bruce's parents, and virtually raised him after their murder. A former field medic, Alfred is capable of performing minor surgery and stitching wounds for the Batman, even ones the size of a tangerine. His skills of disguise and acting mean that he can work undercover on cases for the Batman, and his ability for vocal mimicry means he can impersonate Bruce Wayne on the telephone convincingly. Alfred cares a lot for Bruce, despite allowing him at a young age to pursue a life of madness, revenge, and obsession.
Lucius Fox[edit | edit source]
Robin/Nightwing[edit | edit source]
The parents of a young acrobat named Dick Grayson were murdered by the gangster Tony Zucco. The Batman saw both great potential and something of himself in the boy that night. Although Bruce knew he could never replace Dick's father, he adopted Grayson as his legal ward to help him and provide guidance where he didn't have any when he was that age. He eventually revealed his secret identity as the Batman. Dick wanted justice for his parents, and he agreed to a regiment of rigorous physical and mental training so that he could become the Batman's bat-partner. After several months Dick was finally ready to take to the streets as Robin, fighting crime alongside his mentor. They swore an oath late one night that they would fight together against crime and corruption, never swerving from the path of righteousness. The Batman had realized for the first time that he did not have to be alone in his crusade.
Comissioner Gordon[edit | edit source]
Also known as, the 'Commish', Gordon is one of the only members of law enforcement and city politics that the Batman can trust, and he knows this because he hasn't really tried to find out his secret identity, (mostly) prevents any law enforcement harassment, and faithfully operates the red Bat-phone and big Bat-light that the Batman so needs to do his job.
Batgirl[edit | edit source]
Commisioner Gordon (a man who shares sacred trust with the Batman and has stuck his neck out for him on multiple occasions) once had a sweet, innocent teenaged daughter. It didn't take long, however, to get her into a form-fitting latex uniform. Despite the Batman's initial reluctance, he eventually accepted her into his "Bat-Family"
Batgirl is usually tied up somewhere.
Some weeks after firing Dick and him becoming Nightwing, it's the anniversary of Bruce's parent's death. He makes his annual visit to Crime Alley to pay his respects. The alley is remarkably quiet – it seems word of this regular visit has got around the criminal fraternity. Despite this, the Batman discovers that a young kid named Jason Todd has stolen the tires from the Batmobile. That's right, the Batmobile lost a wheel. Retrieving his property, the Batman is persuaded not to hand Todd over to the police or social services. Instead, he also uses his contacts to track down Jason's parents. It seems that his mother, Catherine, died of a drug overdose recently, while his father is believed to have been killed by Two-Face. So of course, as with all industrous and skilled orphans, the Batman decides to take the boy on as the new Robin.
Following the death of Jason Todd (who would later be resurrected because Superboy punches reality, srsly), the Batman becomes much more violent and aggressive while coping with the tragedy without someone to balance him out. A young man named Tim Drake figures out his secret identity using detective work, and determines that he needs a Robin to keep his darkness in check. Two-Face reappears with new plans to kill the dark knight. Drake begs Dick Grayson to go back as Robin again when he's needed most. Explaining how he deduced their identities by following Grayson's acrobatic career to Dick and Alfred Pennyworth, Tim is taken into the Bat-cave where it is suggested that he become the new Robin. The Batman and Nightwing track down Two-Face, and he catches them in his underground death-trap. Tim takes the Robin costume to rescue them and succeeds, although the Batman argues that he no longer needs a side-kick. Begrudgingly as he proves himself and helps them defeat Two-Face, Bruce agrees to start training Tim Drake and take him on as his new crime-fighting partner. Despite being the most kickass Robin in competence and abilities, he is also the lamest Robin because his parents are both still alive.
Catwoman[edit | edit source]
Selina Kyle, starting as a criminal
whore who wore a cat-themed costume and often operated as a burglar, has a love/hate relationship with the Batman. For years, she skirted on the edge between villainess and antiheroine. However, she has largely reformed in recent years, adopting the role of the guardian of Gotham City's crime-infested East End, though she still comes into conflict with the Batman on occasion. She has also been known to take revenge upon those who commit crimes against animals, especially cats. She likes to get down with a whip, and sometimes eats birds.
Catwoman has the interesting distinction of being the only non-male to develop a long-term, intimate relationship with the Batman... Interesting, indeed.
Robin[edit | edit source]
When his father discovered his secret identity, Tim Drake was told to hang up his cape, and he did. When his girlfriend Stephanie Brown got upset with him for making out with another girl, she angrily created a homemade Robin costume, snuck into the Batcave and demanded that the Batman train her as the new Robin. A girl Robin, what?!? Despite his past belief that Stephanie was an inept crime fighter, the Batman accepted her, put her through several months of intensive training and made her a costume with the same modifications as Tim's. As Robin she patrolled with the Batman, and for a time seemed like a capable replacement for Tim. Unfortunately, for disobeying his orders on two missions, the Batman later stripped her of the costume(!?) and told her that she was done being a hero because he couldn't trust her in the field.
Superman[edit | edit source]
The Batman and Superman are besties, even though they have fought so many times. Because Bruce Wayne is a rich asshole with no real powers, and Clark Kent was a poor dickhead with EVERY SINGLE POWER, they seem to have gotten on over the years as World's Finest Friends. They even started their own League together and let women join it! This may just all be for show, since each one knows that the other could kill them easily. Although, it should be noted that as a boy Clark Kent never used to his 'time telescope' to warn Bruce about his parents' impending deaths.
Robin[edit | edit source]
Once the Batman discovered he had a bastard son, it only stood to reason that he should be the new Robin. I mean, why not, right? The poor kid doesn't have a father... oh... oh.
The Batman views these people as his family, since his parents are dead, and people who try to construe his adoptive wards as being in some way incestuously tawdry should remember that the Batman's major psychosis isn't a sexual one, he fetishizes the ability to keep good people safe and alive, because his parents are dead, and has extended his immediate protection over those he loves and cherishes so much that he is constantly putting them in danger's way. This could also be said of the countless number of harlots he courts as Bruce Wayne, either to support his secret identity's validity, or because even Batman needs a bat-beard.
Bat-Enemies[edit | edit source]
The Batman has the best villains out of anyone, ever, period.
The Joker[edit | edit source]
The Joker is perhaps the Batman's oldest and most dedicated foe. A sadistic clown bent on chaotic nihilism and grinning death, despite having no obvious powers, he has presented more of a challenge to the Batman over the years than any number of those more powerful or well-trained than himself. He is responsible for, among other things, the murder of the second Robin, Jason Todd, and the paralyzing of Batgirl, Barbara Gordon, who he made into a paraplegic. He even turned his own psychiatrist, Harley Quinn, into his sidekick love slave.
Dr. Hugo Strange[edit | edit source]
Professor Hugo Strange' is a brilliant evil scientist and psychologist, one of the Batman''s greatest enemies. His prowess has led him to discover the dark knight's secret identity and even assume his costume at points. In addition to his genius-level intelligence and skill in hand-to-hand combat, Strange has created super-strong Monster Men who do his bidding. But his main power is faking his own death successfully so many times, proving how remarkably easy it is to do this.
Scarecrow[edit | edit source]
The Riddler[edit | edit source]
Edwad Nigma (or E. Nigma, get it? GET IT???) is a super-villain enemy of the Batman who commits crimes revolving around an obsession with riddles. His mental psychosis results from a deep inner need to prove that he's smarter and therefore better than others (which he isn't), which causes him to leave challenging clues behind in otherwise perfect crimes, ignoring the fact that he is often tracked by the World's Greatest Detective (I mean, wtf!? criminals leave clues behind inadventently, isn't that enough?). This psychological compulsion has resulted in him being repeatedly imprisoned in Arkham Asylum. Despite this obvious flaw, he is otherwise an extremely intelligent criminal mastermind. He has been associated with the Legion of Doom and the Secret Society of Super-Villains, but is usually too arrogant and argumentative to last long. He is obviously a cheap, one-note hack villain styling himself after this man.
Two-Face[edit | edit source]
Harvey Dent, who at one time was black but at other times white (and in one universe was Tommy Lee Jones), was a Gotham District Attorney hell-bent on stopping crime. It only makes sense then, that when some trauma befalls him, as will all trauma victims, he would go criminally insane. With half his face scarred with acid, and half of all of his wardrobe from the gaudy 1980s, he uses his trademark coin to determine every outcome, which can be very tedious when trying to order food. He is a very superficial man, and is only insane when his face is fucked up, and better once he gets it fixed.
R'as Al-Ghul[edit | edit source]
is the Batman's greatest villain, because he engages him not just for his slick, well-toned fighter's body, but also his mind. As the head of the League of Assassins, a master of schemes and martial arts, a nearly immortal form, and a lovely and seductive daughter, they have also captured the Batman's heart. Ra's al Ghul deduced Batman's identity with almost no trouble.
Mad Hatter[edit | edit source]
Hush[edit | edit source]
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Bruce Wayne's childhood friend blamed for saving the lives of his parents, who he hated and had tried to murder. He recently resurfaced taking up the guise of "Hush," and coordinate a massive physical and psychological attack from many different fronts using the other members of the Batman's Rogues Gallery as accomplices or pawns.
Mr. Freeze[edit | edit source]
Poison Ivy[edit | edit source]
The Ventriloquist and Scarface[edit | edit source]
are so lame I'm not even going to dignify them with a description.
The Penguin[edit | edit source]
Is a little chode with an umbrella. Since he is fat and round, has a monocle, tuxedo, and top hat, it is funny to watch him fall down. Even his name, Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot, makes it so that you want to see him get pied in the face.
Bane[edit | edit source]
Bane is a former professional wrestler who comes to Gotham city, grunting and juiced up on some kind of green ooze, and beats the Batman within an inch of his life and then breaks his spine because he thought it would be funny.
Killer Croc[edit | edit source]
Killer Croc is an enemy of the Batman with incredible super-strength and a crocodile-like appearance. This mutation was originally a birth defect (a trauma which drove him insane), although he becomes more reptilian over time due to genetic experimentation, because, you know, that was necessary.
Egg-Head[edit | edit source]
Egg-head is an egg-themed villain with no hair who is Awesome because he looks and sounds just like Vincent Price.
Lord Death Man[edit | edit source]
A Japanese crime lord who can enter coma-like state resembling death and
then revive. That's it.
Wesley Willis[edit | edit source]
Batzarro[edit | edit source]
Wayne Bruce am exact clone of Batman, may am made through different process from Bizarro, successful clone of Superman. Always Batzarro is trying help Batman, but him perfect dialogue and clear action make easy to know. Batzarro describe himself as "world's worst detective".
King Tut[edit | edit source]
Now when he was a young man, he never thought he'd see people stand in line to see the boy king. Now, if I'd known they'd line up just to see him, I'd trade in all my money and bought me a museum. Dancin' by the Nile, the ladies love his style. Rockin' for a mile, he ate a crocodile. Now, when I die, (now don't think I'm a nut) don't want no fancy funeral, just one like ole King Tut. Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia, got a condo made of stone-a, King Tut.
Santa Claus[edit | edit source]
The Batman has a severe hatred of Santa because of the proximity his parents died to that ridiculous holiday, Christmas. He never really got any good presents from Alfred, and instead focused on training and vengeance. Plus he was already rich so what the hell did he need Santa for? It's pretty sad, though, since they both have similar work ethics, toiling away in isolation and watching over people while they sleep... the creeps.
The Bookworm[edit | edit source]
With the power to Read! I don't even have the slightest freaking clue how this guy challenged the caped crusader.
Alternate Theories[edit | edit source]
It could be that all that spooky bat-flying-through-the-mist montage stuff and psychedelic mod music is merely the horrifying madness of a trauma victim's weakened mind (his parents are dead) being cleft open for an extra-dimensional bat-wraith who literally warps and transforms each Bruce into his the Batmen. This meta-the-Batman (the Batman of all the Batmans) entity is mostly benevolent and maintains a code, as well as a dedication to crushing evil. This may be further supported by the fact that the Batman doesn't age unless he stops being the Batman, at which point the mantle (cowel?) is taken up by another, younger victim of tragedy. Essentially the delusion revealed to be the Real Batman made physical, and Bruce Wayne his mere puppet, a cumbersome mask it wears when traversing our plane of existence incognito.
The Batman has assisted and allied with heroes from other dimensions on occasion, such as Bat-Mite, Captain America, and even the Revengerists. He was even seen in our own dimension at the G20 protests in Pittsburgh protesting mother-beater Christian Bale's portrayal of him.
It has also been theorized that the Batman is gay. Not in that "happy" way, but in a "chooses to cohabitate with only other men" sort of way. Violent homophobes using several layers of specious logic used this theory to support the Great Comics Purge. All of this is psychological mumbo-jumbo, which as we now know, leads to a life of supervillainy.
The Batman can never come out of the closet, however, much in the same way that he can never reveal his secret identity, and thus, come out from "the shadows" of crime-fighting. He exists in two worlds, and has to keep up a public face that society approves of as "normal" or "heteronormative". Like his moral code and sanity, the Batman's sexuality is too complex to be subjected to the psychoanalysis of others.
The Batman will never gain his parents' approval one way or the other. Because his parents are dead.
Here are the people who know that Batman's secret identity is alter-ego Bruce Wayne: Alfred, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damien Wayne, Barbara Gordon, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Azrael, Lucius Fox, Commissioner Gordon, Superman, Wonder Woman, Zatanna, Supergirl, Martian Manhunter, all the Teen Titans, Vicki Vale, Catwoman, Talia Al Ghul, Ra's Al Ghul, Silver St. Cloud, Andrea Beaumont, Elle MacPherson, Nicole Kidman, Deathstroke, Bane, Despero, The Spectre, The Phantom Stranger, The Riddler, Hush, Dr. Kirk Langstom, Max Lord, Nissa Al Ghul, Dr. Hugo Strange, Owlman, Lois Lane, Huntress, Joe Chill, Killer Moth, Lslie Thompkins, Jimmy Olsen, Static Shock, and even Aunt Harriet.