Team 'Murder Every Human'

The Vampire Lobby, or 'Big Vampire' as it is known in many countries, is a secret political force that advocates and fights for vampire dominance of other lowly yet delicious human forms.

Using a combination of old money, stealth, cunning, sex appeal, good marketing, and hypnotism, vampires have carved out quite a following and movement even amongst still-uninfected living humans. They have mostly lured sex-crazed and abstinence-confused teenaged girls and emotionally vulnerable gay boys with these adaptive predatory strategies.

Their ultimate goals include keeping humans as farmed food sources, and less commonly slaves and pets. Those that resist will be hunted down and devoured.

You people need to know. This is not a joke.

They have the entire network of vampyre lineages acrss the world tracing back centuries, perhaps even millenia. In theory, they can control ever vampire, though some have shown resistiance, such as Blade or A Vampire.


what vampire empowerment has in store for us

Many humans have been tricked into being willing victims; they even find it romantic, and have been fooled into believing that vampires have 'rules' against humans being 'turned' violently or nonconsentually.

Though there are vampire Awesomes, they are usually soul-tortured loners (even though vampires are soul-less, they can sometimes have guilty memories of the past life they once enjoyed), and the rich and powerful elite vampires, despite hiding in the shadows, still think so highly of themselves within their own culture that they can not be considered awesomes. They may wield awesome influence and power, but they are still just total douches.

Big vampires espcially like bloated corpuscle humans who betray their own race such as the 'bloodsack' Rush Limbaugh, who will one day make a fine meal.

Fat vampire

the only thing that could consume Rush Limbaugh

Every time you patronize a Vampire-sympathetic film, read supernatural romance fiction, give to the Red Cross, or the California Association of Nurses, or support the Mormon church, you support the Vampire Lobby.

They also highly support the Republican Party, mainstream media, and big businesses on Wall Street. You cannot count on politicians and mainstream media sources like Fox News to do anything but assist in the Vampire Lobby's further entrenching their foothold on our weak, controlled society.

An inordinant amount of their money, however, is spent fighting and eradicating Lycans, whom they see as 'tainted meat.' For this reason alone, werewolves are often allies of humans and Awesomes and Revengerists.

Vampire hunting is not only integral to our survival as a species and therefore one of the noblest undertakings a human can endeavor to attain an affinity mastery skill over, it is also extremely fun sport (the sporty sports that we are sporting) and the Revengerists use much of their free time destroying numerous bloodbrood strongholds. The character  Righteous Oxide, while a staunch anti-Revengerist villain, is known to also be a fervent Vampire Hunter as his abilities have holy properties. 

Even experts like Stephen King and Anne Rice agree that depictions of vampires that are not honest about their brutal evil nature are lame, hackneyed, pathetic, and shameful. Otherwise known as Tame-Ass Karate.


an advertisement for the Vampire Lobby, using one of their wholly owned subsidiary companies, Clear Channel billboards

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