Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt ( /ˈroooʊzəvɛldtht/ roh-zə-velt; October 27, 1858 – Present) was the 26th President of the United States of America (1901–1909). He is noted for his exuberant personality, range of interests and achievements, and his leadership of the Progressive Movement, as well as his "cowboy" persona, robust masculinity, super-strength, invincibility, invulnerability, redundant healing factor, immortality, and robust masculinity. He was a leader of the Republican Party and founder of the short-lived Progressive ("Bull Moose") Party of 1912. Before becoming President, he held offices at the city, state, and federal levels. Roosevelt's achievements as a naturalist, explorer, hunter, dragon-slayer, pudding eater, author, moustachean, crime-fighter, party-goer and soldier are as much a part of his fame as any office he held as a politician. He is the greatest Awesome ever to have lived. Though benevolent, he sometimes devoured worlds.
Teddy Roosevelt is immune to all forms of physical damage, degeneration, pain, energy attacks, or psionic penetration. For Teddy Roosevelt cannot be destroyed. One of his superpowers was to give himself other magic powers. Teddy Roosevelt knows of our la-zer technology. Teddy Roosevelt invented lasers when he learned how to shoot them from his eyes. He can also shoot lightning, from his wrists, like Spider-Man but with lightning. He would later learn how to transcend time and space and literally exist in as many parts of the Omniverse as he pleased. Teddy Roosevelt, as a conservationist, spawned several forms of life that God unduly gets credit for, such as oysters, maqaques, plankton, bush babies, the whirlybird, and the mighty scotoplane (which he later vowed to destroy).
Teddy Roosevelt was born into a pile of swaddling $1,000 bills on the top of a golden pyramid on a chalice visited by angels Mordecai and Jeffro (doing whatever angels would do over a baby), to the wealthy Roosevelt family in an alleyway in New York City (the only city possible of conceiving him). As a baby, he didn't need to use money, but double-fisted titties. Damn straight. And no one dared change his diaper!
At the ripe age of one years old, he had whooped a puma (or mountain lion or sand cat, depending on the region), devoured half off Mt. Everest (which was bigger then), 83+Cancer, save the world from a fiery ball of AIDs, these are but some of the amazing things that he did. And more!
Teddy Roosevelt was Zorro, all along!
Teddy Roosevelt beat his way into the ranks of the moustachean peoples, and was immediately heralded as their king with chants of "we cool! we cool!"
Around this time Teddy Roosevelt invented karate and won the world championship jell-o puddin' pop-eating competition against the Cosby 12 of Planet Cosby in the Cosbium system Elders of Cosby Cos leaauuughghhghghghgh y'see? He ate jalepeno poppers like you wouldn't believe.
Teddy Roosevelt can eat anything he chooses, including that stuff inside Magna-Doodles (it's not magnets, it's not doodles, wtf!?!?). The only thing he chooses not to eat is anything from Golden Corral, which is totally nasty.
Trusselbarfe! Teddy Roosevelt predicted Chris Farley.
After hearing Thomas Marshall say "Death will have to take him sleeping. For if Roosevelt is awake, there will be a fight", Teddy Roosevelt never fell asleep again.
If you know what is good for you, just don't sit on Teddy Roosevelt's furniture, for God's sakes! It's not that he would harm you, you just couldn't handle its spine-rupturing awesome.
There is an undocumented moment in American history atop San Juan Hill where Teddy was visited by three ghost aliens, who unlocked the secrets of his mutant powers and spurred his second mutation.
Presidential Battle Royale: Roosevelt v. Van-Burn
Teddy lives on in Space Europe. He left plenty of his work here on Earth undone, just like your typical Democrat. He sometimes appears to heroes in battle like a Force-Ghost, but more like a Cheshire Roosevelt, which is what they call it.