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"I'll make a meat out o' ya!" - Warpe battling The Revengerists

Warpe

Every once-in-a-menstral-blood-colored moon you get one of those guys that just shits all over the canon fictional universe. That's this motherfucker. He used to be human, but during the events prior to Finite Contingency he transformed into some sort of being that could, for once , take the Earth's entire consortium of Awesomes with little difficulty and totally fuck things into stupidity

What the Flying Christ Fuck[]

Rob Liefield is lying on the fucking floor of his Penthouse Suite crying because whomever wrote and drew this character completely outstupided him and he knows it! It's not just the INSANE anatomy or the incredibly shitty anti-hero or mary-sue plot, it's how it changed an entire fucking comic book culture to extremes worse than when Batman fans voted for DC to kill off Jason Todd in that Death of Robin comic. 

I'm getting distracted already...

Anyway, the worst of any sort of fan fiction writers have absolutely NOTHING on this guy. No one knows who the creator was other than he went by the pen name Bigdick McCoolguy. Seriously. In his mini-bio on EVERY SINGLE COMIC he wrote he had a picture of some sort of body builder guy so that he could get women to sleep with him. Little did he know that changing your picture doesn't actually change your body, not like the Awesome WiggleMan. I digress again...

Warpe started out as any other stupid fucking cop-out reject character starts, as a normal man who was JUST TOO COOL to be normal and decided with his fucking MIND that he'd just be powerful instead. 

Too Cool For School[]

Warpe is pretty much a Mary-Sue anti-hero douche. A self insert by his creator. 


Warpe was just a normal dude who lifted weights, got all the girls, and had lots of money. One day he was bored and decided to just be really powerful, because his strength of will was that great. After this he just acted whenever it was most convenient for the writers to insert him to contest or help the revengerists. Everyone in the universe knows him, he's seen Space Knights and beaten them in combat, he's solved Mysterious Mysteries like they were simple math problems, he's seduced a number of heroines, and even beat both Dr Tasty and Justice Man at the same time. Not even Breshvic Penicillin can unphysics him. It's fucking stupid

Powers and Abilities[]

Warpe doesn't have a specific power set, it's more like he has whatever powers the writers find convenient to bestow upon him, which is mostly done by Smalldick McDouchebag. If you see warpe pre-contingency, you can be certain he'll have a power that gives him victory.

He has the standard macguffin powers

Super-StrengthSuper-SpeedSuper-SmartsInvulnaribility  - enough to bat an entire planet back at Odd Jog, outrun The Bee Queen, outsmart Commodore Bob, and take a full on frontal assault from every single good-alligned Awesome on earth. 

During The War of Armatron he successfully survived being anti-physicsed by Breshvic, thus revealing his power of Anti-Anti-Physics. He can absorb Lazer blasts, energy attacks, and Super-effective anything. In The Battle of the Good guys and the Bad Guys that happened every single hero of the world performed their special moves on him at some point and none of it did anything to him. 

He can see into the future, travel through time, and perform feats of Time-Fuckery. He's also immune to time-fuckery as Dr Evilus can't even seem to get around him. 

Warpe employs a number of Martial Arts when he chooses to fight in hand-to-hand combat, he's a master of all forms and can't be defeated in a contest of martial skill. He's a skilled acrobat, master thief, and even a proven political asshole. In his possession is an arsenal of powerful Gadgets, which he uses to utmost efficiency even being able to hack into Super Planet. Also in his charge are a number of Mystical Artefacts, some of which he's used to banish ultra-beasts

He's even able to use Magic effectively, WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?!

Jesus Fucking Christ[]

Warpe is undefeatable if only for a few rare scenarios, most of which are cop-out bullshit like if he is defeated he is only defeated when he has planned for it or allows it to happen for a tactical advantage. He's a strategical genius, laying out plans that would make The motherfucking Batman look like a baby. But it's okay, because he's not a bad guy, he's more of an anti-hero who chooses when and where to act. He's been appointed as Earth guardian on several occasions and also deemed the anti-christ on several more. 

The only times he's ever been legitimately beaten was when some other author wrote a story-arc and those were commonly retconned by Dumbass McFuckface whenever he got the chance. It became such a problem that eventually there was a huge battle in the revengerists comic business, which resulted in in this guy getting fired and permanently banned from writing comics ever again. A consequence of this whole thing was the Finite Contingency, which was started by Warpe and put an end to his ridiculousness. 

Post Contingency[]

After Warpe was put down, he still comes back every once in a while as a crazy throw-away character that isn't nearly as competent as he used to be. He is easily beaten by minor revengerists like The Mammoth Mountain Fucker and String Chease


The most important thing to know is that this character was a complete disaster and major lesson for those who write Revengerists Comics. 

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