a typical worst_ninja_ever. backfire moment
Worst_Ninja_Ever. (most often rendered as 'worst_ninja_ever.') is an alter-ego of one of the other Revengerists who has yet to be names as of the conclusion of the series'
He is named for his general ineptitude at being a , though often his foibles are the result of unluckiness and not fault of his own. Usual attempts at ninjahood usually result in harm of the ninja himself.
Some of his unninjalike behavior includes noisesome property damage, leaving his cell phone or pager on during raids, getting lost in the mall food court, loudly listening to Daft Punk on his headphones, missing the trash can but still saying 'swish,' locking himself out of his own dojo, getting caught on traffic cameras, sometimes even wearing L.A. Lights.
The worst_ninja_ever. is the exception that proves the rule of the Inverse Law of Ninjas. On his own he is utterly useless and incapable, but in the one-shot ninja tale where he was magically cloned by the Ancient Dragon Lord one hundred thousand times, in order to be the Dragon Lord's evil mind-controlled army, he was very effective at not only razing the bad guys to the ground, but also defeating the indefeatable Dragon Lords so that thy forever hence have to hide sleeping in rocks in space around the dark side of the moon. This may have not been intended, though, nd may have been just another example of ninja backfiring, but on a much larger scale. This proves that he can be affective, just when used against the opposite target in a sort of 'reverse ninjology.'
His arch enemy is his own polar opposite. A white-clad lady ninja (or BEST-NINJA-EVER!) of outstanding prowess whom he is hoplessly and unrequitedly in love with. Not only does she spurn his advances, on the basis that she "don't want no scrubs," he is also repeatedly harmed by her in many injurious ways a la Spy vs Spy. He foolishly takes this as a sign that she secretly likes him, which is not the case because she despises his low status in ninja culture. He may think this either because he is juvenile, dumb, or because it is another sign of his constantly getting things wrong, or a mixture. He is not very good around girls in general, and has to pay for sex.
Though his SWORD is always breaking and/or hurting himself, it always repares itself and so does he due to a magical protection hex set by the Acient Dragon Lord. he once tried to commit seppuku, but with the scabbard still on his katana. it is unclear if this was the protection of the Dragon Lord(s) or his own sheer dumbness. Either way, the protection only keeps him from being killed, as worst_ninja still feels pain and suffering on a near daily basis. No matter how much blood he comically looses, the hex will keep him around.
In a rare moment of smartness for the ninja, he once defeated the finest Samurai army of all by attempting to inflict harm on himself, which killed every last one of them and left him unscathed. He celebrated his newfound moves with a barrel of Saki, so that the following morning he forgot all aboutit.
Origin[]
No one knows how old ninja is or where is from truly, though the Pennsylvania suburbs have been suggested, as well as feudal Japan and an Ancient Rock of the Dragon Age where he was cast aside as 'scrap' to be fed upon by eaglets, who did not like the taste of him. Another theory is that he is really the 'Monkey King' from Journey to the West, and all of his monkey-like antics are a cover for his secret motives, which may explain why his mistakes are never fatal.
Ninja Powers[]
The worst_ninja_ever. does NOT have the following typical ninja powers, or cannot perform them flawlessly. this means he is the most powerful ninja, and following the transitive property of mathematics, the most powerful character in the Revengeristverse.
- stealth
- agility
- air or cloud walking flying
- double jump
- wall crawling or scaling
- weapons efficiency (katanas, nunchuku, staff, ninja stars usually only hurt himself)
- video games (he always loses, and also whines about it calling his opponent or the CPU a 'filthy cheater')
- honor
- quick escape (he has never once had a smoke bomb that was not a dud)
- speed (he is fast, but usually trips over things)
- mind powers (he only fakes himself out and gets dazed and confused)
- hand-to-hand combat
- shoplifting or quick-change artistry
- martial arts (entirety self-taught)
On the plus side, worst_ninha does have great leaping ability due to the phenominal size of his calves, which excelerated in growth during the many months he excised them in his hospital bed(s). He works out ever day, never takes drugs , and all his failings cannot be attributed to lack of trying. he does get easily frustrated and is quick to anger. He likes all types of Japanese things such as bonsai and udon, though several sources have implied he is Polish-American.